The memory of 2013 which is the dark moments when SPP1M just left by the rethoric , and of course due to my family financial constraints burn my dream to complete my final year abroad as a LLB (hons.) students and without doubt upgrade my status and graduating as a 'Lawyer' on this date .
The darkest moments doesn't stop there, in the same years my beloved dad or my inspirations, motivator slowly became detiorated from his wealth of health which his personality changes did affecting me in my struggling journey.
Part from the dark moments, im slowly rescuffle and re-organize back to my BluePrint to ensure i completed my LLB (hons.) no matter what it takes .
Without, realising now im caretaker for my family when dad is not fit for the responsibilities to be motivator.
On the same year, Mom work abroad to grasp her ambition and of course on that time she think that money can buy Happiness, which i can clearly interpret now that Happiness is a subjective matter .
The year of 2013, is also the timeline that i need to pay back my PTPTN loan, which i had sign on generally agreed authorisation to fullfilled my promises to turn back the money that i had eandeavour for the past 3 years ago, which i can presumed a very bad investment when i make up decision to choose Private Institution rather than Public Instititution.
The Chain Of Causation.
Part from that i need to play my role, and of course try hard to strive in the correct track because i'm the eldest son of the family, they need someone to inspire them to doing well in examination ( for my little brotha and sister), while dad is not dad which i had seen before.
In the same time, i met her who are always supporting me to buckle up and focus, she is so different with other women that i had met before. Thank You Allah because letting me be in her timeline,opss on my timeline when i need someone to inject good vitamin for me to strive harder in this state of emergency.
After realizing, my dream to study abroad are not coming true, re-plan back for my upcoming future is my vision and of course there is a lot of thing in the future waiting for me, generally speaking this is where the growth happen.
Apart from above, i need to work to ensure that i earn something in my life , i know that my friends who are studying now are working to earn something from what they had learn in their Instititution using their Diploma, Degree and some of them using Master to be Superior officer no matter what organisation they work for.
Life is not only about rainbows and sunshine
The starting point, start when i personally confront the University Of London International Programmed when previously i had attend the Open days to get information and if possible be part of the programmed as a independent students. Its not easy to be Independent Students and 100% relying on the Virtual Learning by the students portal. Sound interestin right without classes and of course this are the flexible method which the only option that i had, because i dont want to burden my parents with my study so, clearly im all alone now so the next thing to do is try to find a job so i can support my study by using my own money.
Nearly four month, i seek for the perfect job which is the crucial part is to find a job with office hour and of course holiday in saturday and sunday so i can catch up with my study such as; to find case law, judgement and of course eandeavouring with lexis and nexis, west law and associates.
March 27 is the beginning of my journey i mean the new journey after two years of failure without progress, so now i'm here in the 'Town Council' as a hcbdscvsvtdsb, thanks to her because coaching me to attend the interview, the salary is not big however i'm happy with the nature of job because advocating is a skills, even thou the salary is not big but i'm so gratefull because the officer and the staff are friendly and supporting or in simple word they are like my family.
Generally speaking, i think the year of 2014 is a stepping stone that i will rise again and ilustrate the future, oh Allah. Please help me to ensure that the world is in my hand, and hereafter is in my heart. If god willing next September i will continue my study as an independent student.
While my mom, now nursing my dad (abah) and i hope abah will recover soon and hope he will be back on the bench, even thou personally i think he will not be like before. :( there is positive side that i summed up that i have my family back even thou the feel of the " FAMILY" will not be the same again.
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